Tradecraft > How to be an Effective Mentor

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We all know a good mentor when we see one, but what exactly is “mentoring” and how can we become effective mentors ourselves? Here are some tips, techniques, and insights from former Ambassadors and senior USG officials.

Take Time to Listen

Ambassador Liliana Ayalde told us, “Mentorships are important, but are most effective when mentors know your personal goals, skills and expectations, and how career decisions will impact you personally.” A good mentor listens, cares, and understands your professional and personal goals. “A good mentor asks questions to get to know you, challenges your assumptions, and tries to get you to be intentional in your choices—sometimes giving you a push when you need one. And being a good mentee means that you are able to acknowledge the areas where you could use a little more work. Trust is critical on both sides, so don’t be afraid to move on from a mentor if the relationship isn’t working for you.”

Empower Your Team

Effective mentoring relationships (like all relationships) are based on mutual trust, respect, and commitment. Many retired ambassadors cited examples from their own experience to illustrate this fundamental truth. According to former Director General Harry Thomas, Secretary Rice had so much confidence in her team that she would leave them alone in meetings with POTUS. From that experience, he learned to give other people similar opportunities. “You need to give people real opportunities without micromanagement.” 

Ambassador Dan Fried said he learned during Poland’s transition to democracy that “you have to let people put their necks out and make judgement calls.” He used to tell his staff, “Intolerance of errors means intolerance of action.” We’ll all make mistakes. We can’t let that stop us from making decisions. Ambassador Greg Delawie was a DAS in the Political Military bureau, responsible for stopping piracy off the Horn of Africa. When the Assistant Secretary left during the transition to a new administration, he was told, “You’re in charge now. Figure it out.” So he worked with interagency colleagues to leverage USG resources to solve the problem. Importantly, the acting Assistant Secretary was there when he needed assistance, guidance, or support.

Invest in People

Good mentors invest in the lifelong learning of their colleagues. They take the long view and recognize that professional development also entails personal development. Ambassador Barbara Bodine reflected on this when she noted that the common thread among her mentors “was that they understood that a large part of their job was to help me, a junior officer, learn how to be a diplomat, a professional, and a skilled bureaucrat.” When she was working on Yemen and Saudi Arabia, for example, her boss spent hours talking about the deep history of the Gulf Arabs and U.S.-Gulf relations. Her mentors “were patient and most assuredly not shy in telling me when I screwed up, what I did wrong, and then how to do it right. Extremely important throughout this apprenticeship, I was never made to feel lesser because of my age or my gender.”

Former Assistant Secretary Tony Wayne recalled that he once had a boss who was very methodical and committed to improving performance. Once, he recommended a book called The One-Minute Manager and excitedly briefed his staff on the core ideas. The book was interesting, but more importantly, his boss “demonstrated enthusiasm for self-teaching and constant learning that I took to heart. Also, he was both caring and business-like. He showed you could have both qualities.”

There are many different models and methods of mentoring. Here are just a few:

The Traditional Model: A Senior Champion

We can only hope that we’ll be as fortunate in our choice of mentor as Ambassador Alice Wells, who apprenticed with the legendary Bill Burns for eight years as she moved from Special Assistant to senior positions in the White House and ultimately an ambassadorship. And indeed, that is one approach that has worked for many. But Ambassador Wells noted that it is not easy to work for a “tour de force” and cautioned against idealizing our mentors. Instead, she advised us to look for professional growth opportunities and “incredible life lessons” in every relationship. 

The Wisdom of Peer Mentors

Of course, mentors do not have to be prominent officials or ambassadors. Annie Pforzheimer said she has always found it more useful to have a peer-mentor. In every job, she said, “I had a kind of ‘work brother’ who helped me in many ways, especially to benchmark my performance and promotions against male colleagues to understand if I was facing issues that were related to being a female officer.” Even ambassadors need mentors. One who was humble enough to admit it, Ambassador Sandy Vershbow, said he learned from his mentors how to manage and lead in a way that “encourages even the most junior officer to offer advice and ideas and that is not too hierarchical.” He confided that when he was U.S. Ambassador in Seoul, he was mentored by a team of real experts within the Embassy who reminded him that “you are never too old or know too much to learn from your team.”

Situational Mentoring

The best mentors are there when you need them most. As Ambassador Gina Abercrombie-Winstanley noted, “Good mentors are not necessarily those with whom you have a long-established relationship.” She advised us to always be open to advice and mentoring when you get it and also to giving time and advice to others for mentorship moments. It is also worth noting that you can have more than one mentor at a time. You’re not cheating on them!  Different mentors offer different experiences and perspectives, some of which might be more relevant or timely than others. Consulting a variety of mentors can broaden your understanding of a situation, open up a variety of options, and introduce empathy when making critical decisions.

Ambassador Tom Pickering (who was a mentor to many of the ambassadors we spoke to) advocated for on-the-job training programs and said there is much to learn (good and bad!) from simply observing our colleagues in action and taking note of their leadership philosophy, their decision-making process, and their communication style.

Formal Mentoring Programs

There is intrinsic value in a formal, structured mentoring program, particularly in a complex, hierarchical bureaucracy such as the Department of State. Such a program can provide consistency, clarity, and focus for both the mentor and the mentee. In particular, a formal mentoring program (including signed mentoring agreements) can help to define goals, manage expectations, and align skills and interests. Overseas, DCMs are responsible for establishing and leading Post mentoring programs, while in Washington that is the responsibility of the DAS. Mentoring programs come in all shapes and sizes, often tailored to the circumstances of the organization and the individual. Regardless of the type or frequency of mentoring you give or receive, we hope you’ll see the value in looking after the development of your colleagues.

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